Fierce Love. Find YOUR F Spot!

Love is Fierce. (And self defense is fierce love.)

Lionize. 


It's the focus of this post, and more that will follow. In many respects it is the heart and the blood-pulse of physical self defense. I mean when nothing else will do but counterattack.

Lionize. It's rarely discussed. Doubtful that you'll hear this in any women's self defense manual-- except mine. And you'll hear it a lot because it houses the F words:

Ferocity + Ferocious.

It's an attitude. A force. It can not only fill you with determination and strength, but the hidden gift of Ferocity is this: it dissolves inhibition and arouses the will to fight.

For a female (typically smaller with less mass and muscle) this isn't just some New Age empowerment soundbite- this isn't faux ferocity-- but a vital tool in the arsenal. A weapon that can to be sharpened, cultivated and worn on the inside, which is in itself a deterrent.

Learning to mobilize this ferocity in the face of what may otherwise be stultifying FEAR is part of the process of becoming an effective self-defender. 

Ferocity is a gift that keeps on giving. Nestled inside ferocity lies another primal powerhouse: KILLER INSTINCT. It's an ugly term I know. I'm in this 26 years now and it took me many years to come to terms with this word-- because it grates against my being-- and not couch it in the more palatable language of "Survival Instinct" which it's connected to. But Killer Instinct is a particular emanation and expression of survival. It's what allows us to engage and to wield the tools of violence (another ugly word) and direct it purposefully in the service of survival. In the service of protecting and preserving life - defending that which we hold sacred.

I'm not advocating this for the purpose of destruction-- of course NOT. (For the record, I escort creepy spiders out of the house prayerfully cupped in hand while uttering benedictions of good wishes under my breath. I'm THAT girl.) But here's why I unabashedly urge women to leverage their killer instinct. Because it can not only fund and drive your fight if you must attack back-but it can also assassinate your very own fear. KILLER INSTINCT cuts both ways. There may be times when killing your fear becomes necessary, so that the unfathomable becomes fathomable. The unthinkable, doable. So that you can, in warrior parlance, take up the spear.

There is in every woman this deep-seated domain of ferocity- something of the cave, the primitive exists in us all-- but it's often buried below layers of fear and socialization. It needs to be called out of hiding and lured to the fore so that it can be freely tapped, judiciously focused. So that it can embolden our hearts. Once realized and switched ON, it's a potential game changer. 


To unveil find your YOUR F-SPOT (so to speak) you must first answer these intimate  questions: What is worth fighting for? What is non-negotiable? What do YOU hold sacred?  The answers to these questions will define your boundaries. 


And here's the best part:  When women arrive at these answers and feel it deep in their hearts, female FEROCITY naturally arises. It's a power that's as spiritual as primal. It's part of our whole-woman package--the fighting Eros of Life.


Welcome to my F world! With more "F's" to come...