MORE MINDFULNESS PLEASE!!!

TWO BEEFS ! QUIT IT! (Do I look like I'm joking? ) 

(1) Those in WSD need to stop wielding this awful phrase as your promo: "Don't be a victim!" Or worse: "Choose NOT to be a victim!"

Let's be clear: YES to sensible risk reduction, heightened awareness, early recognition of danger/ testing/ behavioral clues, good body language, intuition turned on (ALL CHECKED). Now THIS: NO woman CHOOSES to be a victim or to be attacked. Even women who "do everything right" - how they comport themselves, how street smart they are; they can be Black Belts and kick ass power feminists-- and STILL be violated or raped. And "not at fault." 

(2) Ditch last century verbiage: Some in Women's Self Defense still promulgate that self defense is about knowing "YOU'RE Worth FIGHTING FOR." That you're worth it.


As one who is steeped in SD and as a former psychotherapist, while I appreciate where this is coming from, I find this comment mildly insulting; the insinuation is that most women DON'T think they're worth fighting for. I disagree. To me this smacks of a victim mentality pinned onto and often attributed to women. 

Sure. It may in fact be relevant for women struggling with DEEP self esteem issues or domestic abuse whereby they've internalized the doubts of their abusers and diminishing self perceptions. But most women today KNOW they're worth fighting for and WANT to protect their bodily sovereignty. They need to learn HOW and how to overcome fear and other inhibitions. 

Let's MOVE the conversation forward- not backward!

PS. Oh yes that's me with fabulous INVESTIGATIVE DISCOVERY TV producer CHRIS G. I was recently interviewed for a forthcoming (this summer) episode for a new show featuring Dates From Hell . (But seriously. These are remarkable real life stories of women's resolve, smarts, fighting hearts and... fighting back powers. 


The episode I was called in for is the amazing Keri Potts, who heroically daringly escaped from a rapist in Rome. A predator not only intent on brutal rape but possible a killer..... Stay tuned and I'll share more.